Cloud's Search and Find Mission
by whatfolly
Summary: This is my first story so please R&R, thanks. CHAPTER 9 up. 3/28/13
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one: Cloud's Return, Tifa's Disappointment

_Have you excepted forgiveness? Have you forgiven yourself for a crime you've not committed?_

He sat heavily on the crumpled bed, resting his weary head on his hands as he thought of all the battles he had encountered, and won, of all the people that had died in those dark times. Of Her...

_'Where do I go from here? I've taken down all my enemies--fought till the very end. How do I move on from this point when fighting is still fresh in my blood, and her...her death is still fresh in my memory? It's been two years, how do I forget? How do I move on?'_

He heard the front door to the bar downstairs open, then the sound of muffled voices and clangor of boots as they made for the stairs.

_'Marlene. Denzel.' _the thought of the small children brought a tiny smile to his usually frown set lips. _'They'll be surprised to see me. It's been awhile since I've seen or spoke to anyone. I wonder if they feel I've abandoned them--maybe I have.' _Shaking his head with distaste he got up and started stripping off his dirty clothes; getting ready for the shower he much needed. _'No need to look like I've been rolling in mud and smelling like I've been sleeping with pigs in the time I've been away.' _He shook his head, his face scrunching up at the thought.

A frown etched on Cloud's lips as he set his weapons aside. His hand gliding down the hard steel--his mind in a whirl. _' I'm a delivery boy now,' _he thought as he fingered every niche in his sword.

_' What use does a delivery boy need with a weapon...'_ He angrily rubbed at his face trying to banish the thought away, then grabbed at the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger trying to take the edge off the headache that seemed to have sharpened and poke at his brain with every thought that entered his head.

_'I need a long hot, hot shower.' _He thought tiredly as he made way towards the door that would bring temporary relief; the bathroom.

* * *

"Hey would two be careful please, I don't need any accidents around here!" Tifa hollered at the two excited children running up the stairs.

She put down the two bags of purchases she had gotten for the day and reached into her pocket for her cell phone. _'Maybe today he'll...' _Her thought cut off as she opened her phone.

**TWO MISSED CALLS**

**TWO NEW MESSAGES**

Her brow raised in curiosity. _' Maybe a call is from him.' _She thought hopefully.

**Incoming**

**Barret--12:43 **

**Incoming**

**Yuffie--2:35**

She looked down at the names disappointedly. _'Not him. It wasn't him last week, it wasn't him this week either. When is he ever going to call?' _She listened to both messages with feigned interest.

Voice call number one--

**"Hey girl, It's Barret! What up boo, when did you start not answering your phone. You tryin to be like Spike head?...say hello to Marlene."** BEEP

_'Cloud, where are you?'_

Voice call number two--

**"Hey Tifa, it's me, Yuffie! I just went down to North Corel; you have no idea how hard I had to work to dig up some materia! And how much harder I had to work just to persuade the cheap bastards to let me keep them! It's mine! I dug up so much I just may have more then Cloudy-face!...see ya later Tifa!"** BEEP

She sighed heavily and shook her head to get rid of the disappointment. _'At least they're okay.'_ She thought, putting her phone away. Grabbing the bags she headed to the make shift office she had upstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Marlene and Denzel's Secret

Cloud finally emerged from his long hot shower, letting the steam roll out like fog from the bathroom. _'Damn, I needed that.' _He thought as he stretched his once-tense muscles. Grabbing a towel, he dried up the excess water out of his hair then shook his head; letting his natural blond spikes shine though. _'Much better.'_ He thought. Putting on a fresh pair of clothes, he finally felt refreshed, renewed even. He took a look at himself in the full length mirror. _'I look decent enough.' _He tried smiling, but it came out as more of grimace. _'That wont due.' _He tried again: SCOWL : _'Aah! well, when have I been required to smile anyway?'_ He thought with a roll to his eyes_._

Making his way towards the door, he took one look back at his long time companion; his sword. He could see the hard steel gleaming in the sunset. He shook his head, opened the door and set about finding the other occupants of this home, his friends; the ones he felt he had abandoned.

* * *

Making his way out the room, to his left he could hear Marlene and Denzel laughing. To his right he heard Tifa ransacking though the desk cabinets, putting away objects. He went to see what Marlene and Denzel where up to. As he opened the door, they both looked up to see who had interrupted their playtime. Their eyes widened in surprise and their faces broke out in wide smiles.

"Cloud!" They both yelled in unison. He offered them a small smile as they both ran towards him tackling him into a tight grip, showing how fiercely they've missed him.

"Hello, Marlene, Denzel. How have you both been doing?" He asked as he rubbed both their heads affectionately. He stopped and noticed Marlene's pink bow and short braid. _'Just like hers--just like Aerith's.' _His chest tightened a bit at the thought of her.

Marlene notice his change of character and saw him staring at her hair.

"Oh, you like it Cloud?" She turned around demonstrating her pink bow and short braid. "I had asked Denzel to do it for me, but he can't tie a bow for anything." Upon looking at her friend, Denzel, that stood beside her, she saw him roll his eyes in exasperation--she stuck her tongue out at him and continued. "So I asked Tifa to do it; now it looks perfect! I know it's not as long as Aerith's, but I hope one day it will be." She looked expectantly at Cloud, waiting for an answer.

As if being pulled out of a daze, he blinked rapidly. "It looks good, Marlene. Tifa did a great job." He said in a monotone voice. He turned and looked out the window watching the stars light the sky as the sun made it's descent.

Just then Tifa entered the room. "Hey guys I need help with..." Her eyes immediately land on Cloud. "Cloud?" She stares at him as not believing it's really him--as if he's a ghost. Cloud closes his eyes and turns towards her. He opens his eyes and meets her disbelieving gaze.

"Hey, Tifa." He gives her a forced smile; it feels awkward on his lips.

"Oh..." Trying to compose herself, she coughs lightly. "Where have you been?" Her brows furrow slightly in question. "Everyone has been trying to get in contact with you." Her head tilts to the side, beckoning him to speak, but no words are forth coming. So she continues, agitated. "It's been fucking three goddamn months, Cloud!"

Marlene and Denzel, both gasped at the out burst. They look back and forth between Cloud and Tifa; wondering whose side to be on in the argument that's about to take place. Cloud takes pity on them. "Not now, Tifa" His voice low and rough. "We'll talk later." He assured her.

She nodded her head solemnly and turned to walk out, but before she went through the threshold she stopped and said. "I'm going to close the bar down and call everyone up, you know...have a gathering for your return?" She looked at him by the side of her eye, waiting for a reaction. None was forth coming. _'He's like a robot!'_ She thought before striding out the room, not waiting for a response.

He turned towards the kids and offers a small smile of apology. "I'm sorry you had to see that." he told them. He could see their small bodies tense with fear, but when they saw him smile, their fear evaporated, and they smiled back.

"It's okay Cloud, adults always argue." Denzel said with a shrug to his shoulders. _'Maybe that's this worlds problem...' _Cloud's thoughts got cut off by Marlene's exclamation.

"Oh! I forgot. Look what we've found, Cloud!" cried Marlene as she ran to an old drawing table. Underneath the table were piles and piles of blankets and pillows, like a home made clubhouse exploded. She started digging through the piles of blankets and pillows and finally pulled out what looked like a gold trimmed, diamond crested teapot except much slender and longer.

"What is that?" Cloud asked perplexed.

"I thought you weren't going to say anything, Marlene!" Denzel whispered harshly.

Cloud Turned his blue, mako infused eyes towards him. "Why can't she tell me what it is?" Cloud asked.

Denzel bowed his head in embarrassment; his shaggy hair hiding his face. "No reason. She told me she wasn't going to say anything to anybody, is all." Denzel said in a timid voice.

Cloud's eyebrow raised in curiosity. "What so special about it?" His arms crossed waiting for an answer.

"Well, what it is Cloud, it's a...genie lamp." Marlene answered, giving the lamp a name as an after thought. Cloud looked at her incredulously and eyed the 'genie lamp'. He shook his head in disbelief. " No really Cloud, it's a _magical_genie lamp." Marlene offered the lamp to Cloud for further investigation. When Cloud received the lamp, Denzel told him of it's supposed powers.

"You know Cloud, the lamp supposed to grant you three wishes" Denzel said as matter of fact. Cloud's eyes raised to Denzel's. "Three...wishes?" Cloud asked in wonder. Denzel nodded and continued on. "Yup, It supposed to grant three wishes; whatever your heart desires." Cloud's eyes moved to the lamp. The sparkle of the diamonds seeming to enchant him.

"How do you know it grants you three wishes?" Cloud asked

"Because the book said it did." Answered Denzel. Cloud looked at him. "The book?"

"We have this book, you see, we found it with the lamp. I guess you could say it's the lamp's instruction manual." Marlene said. Then she turned abruptly around and ran out the door.

"Marlene?" Cloud called after her. He looked expectantly towards Denzel.

Denzel shrugged his shoulders. "She had to go to the restroom?" Denzel said not having a clue. Then she came running into the room, short of breath and had a wide, thick book underneath her arms.

"Look..(huff) Cloud, this(puff) is the book." She wheezed out as she handed Cloud the book. He wasn't surprised at the heaviness of the book; it being so wide and thick.

"Sorry. I had showed it to Tifa, so I had go and get it from her room." She said after she caught her breath.

Denzel looked at her. "You showed it to Tifa?" She nodded her head. Denzel continued "Why? I thought we weren't going to tell anybody?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's a little to late for that don't you think, besides I needed help figuring out some of the words..." Marlene paused and looked to Cloud, then continued on. "We still don't even know how to get the..._genie_ to come out." Marlene finished saying.

Denzel continued. "Ya Cloud, we tried all the usual stuff; like rubbing the side of it or even shaking it--like you see in the movies. Nothing works. Even the book dosen't say anything."

Cloud looked over the book that was in his right hand; it was plain. No words on the cover, just plain and really white--it looked almost pure. He then looked at the lamp in all it's gold, diamond glory. The book and lamp were total opposites. _'I've never seen objects like these.'_ Cloud thought.

"Hmm..." Cloud put the lamp and book down on top of the table. "That is interesting." Cloud said, grabbing his chin in thought. "Where did you two find the items?" He turned his attention to Marlene and noticed how nervous she looked. It was Denzel that answered his question.

"Well, we found them by the...old d-deserted Shinra building." He said stumbling over his words.

Cloud's eyes widened. "The Shinra building!" He looked at both of them. His piercing mako blue eyes making them turn there heads in every direction except towards him.

He shook his head. " Let me guess, by the way you both look; guilty, you went by yourselves!" They nodded, eyes downcast in shame. "You guys know that place is dangerous; it's filled with monsters, and the surrounding buildings and even the building itself is about ready to collapse." He looked at them and shook his head in deep disappointment.

"We're sorry." They said in unison.

He shook his head again. "What made you two go--" He was cut off as they heard the front door of the bar open. And in came the loud voices and the loud stomp of boots on the wooden floors.

"Where that son' bitch Cloud at? I gotta show him the new model, Shera; that mother' flies faster than any bird in the sky. Woohoo!" Cloud could hear Cid's voice over everybody else's loud talking. He shook his head in amusement.

"Marlene, Denzel, I'm going to take the lamp and the book, read and see what it is, okay?" He said as he took hold of the objects.

Without waiting for an answer, he strode out towards his room with the lamp and book in hand. He felt like these items where special, important and valuable, and to not be trusted with anyone. He entered his dark room, switched on the light and looked around for a safe hiding spot for the objects in his hands. He opened the closet door and stuck them under his dirty clothes. _'This'll have to do for the time being.'_ Cloud thought as he stared down at the mysterious objects at the bottom of his dirty clothes hamper. He shook his head, stood and got ready to face his friends.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Characters in this story belong to Squarenix

Warnings: Just some language.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

Chapter three: The Uncomfortable Reunion

Cloud's legs felt heavy as he made his way downstairs. He could hear everyone's laughter and jolly conversation. He saw everyone huddled in a group by the bar and made his way towards them.

"Hey guys." His voice feels raspy, so he clears his throat. "How's it going?" They all jumped up to greet him.

Barret's voice booms over the rest. "Yo Spiky!" Barret yells as he grabs Cloud's head and shoves him into his big hard chest, squeezing him tightly in a fierce bear hug. "Long time no fuckin see--" His voice fading allowing the others to greet him.

Yuffie's excited voice cut through. "Hey Cloud, I just found a bunch of materia. I betcha ya want to see it. Right, right!"

"Cloud you have gotta see my baby, she's a real beau I'd say" Cid said cutting off Yuffie which caused her to pout. "But right now let's get us a drink." Cid said as he clapped Cloud on the back and led him to the table. At the table he could see the rest of the gang. Vincent, Red, and just behind Red sat Cait Sith. Cloud greeted them with a nod of his head. Vincent nodded back in acknowledgment, as did Red.

"Ello mate, how's the big world treatin ya?" Cait asked in a shivery high-pitched voice.

"Just fine, Cait. I'm surprised to see you though." Answered Cloud.

"Oh Cloudy, why would I not be here?" Cait asked in a dramatic voice which caused Cloud's brow to twitch in slight annoyance. "Anyway, little lassie here needed some company" Cait said as he grabbed and pulled at Red's mane. Red let out a slight growl and shook his mane violently causing Cait to fall to the floor with a loud thud. "Ouch!" Cait exclaimed rubbing the back of his head. _'Guess I'm not the only one who gets annoyed with him' _Cloud thought with amusement.

"How are you really doing, Cloud?" Red asked in his soft, calm voice. Cloud looked at both Red and Vincent. They where staring him, waiting for an answer.

"Um...okay." Cloud said in a small voice. _'God I feel like a child.'_ He thought, rubbing at his temple. They knew he was lying, but asked no further questions.

Everyone gathered at the two large conjoined tables and sat. He noticed Barret, Marlene, and Denzel were missing. "Where's--" Cloud's question got cut short and Tifa answered briskly before another word was uttered. "Barret's with Marlene." Just as she finished answering, they heard Barret's heavy build coming down the stairs.

"Where the little brats at?" Yuffie asked.

"They're staying up stairs until chow gets here, said adult talk is boring." Barret answered with amusement in his eyes. Barret turned his attention to Cloud. "So Cloud, where the hell you been at all this time?" Barret asked.

Cloud looked a little annoyed with the question. He shrugged. Everyone was quiet, letting an awkward silence hang in the air. Cloud looked around and saw everyone staring, waiting for an answer. _'What do they want from me, I'm here now.' _Cloud thought. He shook his head and let out a loud exasperated sigh. "I was just..." Cloud looked around. Seemed everyone's ears perked up. He continued. "Look I got...lost." He saw Tifa roll her eyes, and Vincent give a small smirk; they knew he was lying, but he continued on anyway. "The region was unknown. Tifa knew that when she sent...me..." Cloud stopped. He didn't want anyone to think he was trying to shift the blame for his long departure; especially when it's not the truth. Tifa just shrugged her shoulders and continued to clean the already clean glasses. _'This is unbearable, just too unbearable.' _Cloud thought, putting his head in his hands. It was quiet. Everyone was silent and taking sips of their drinks, trying to get rid of the awkwardness of the situation.

"So!" Cid yelled as he slammed his empty glass on the table. "When we gonna eat? 'Cause this son of mother is hungry!" Cid said rubbing his stomach.

"Uh, food should be arriving soon." Tifa said walking to the door to see if the deliver was coming. "I ordered take out since it was short notice." She said as she looked out the window. Yuffie piped in. "What did you order Tifa; Chinese, Mexican..."

"I ordered pizza." Tifa said turning to Yuffie.

Yuffie eyes lit up. "Ooh...Italian, yummy, yummy in my tummy!" Yuffie said in a sing song voice. "Where Did you order from...huh?"

"I ordered from, Don Leon's Pizza Parlour..." Tifa answered. Yuffie's face scrunched up and she stuck her tongue out in distaste. "Of all the places..." Yuffie said. Her voice full of contempt. Cloud could sense the quarrel about to take place, and sure enough he heard them start bickering. Cloud shut them out, and took a glance about the room.

Cloud saw Barret and Cid cheering to their new found successes, then proceed to gulp down huge amounts of amber liquid. To what successes they were cheering, Cloud didn't know. Cloud's eyes then shifted to Vincent, his body stiff like a cadaver and his eyes cast downward. _'I wonder if he's as uncomfortable as I am.' _Cloud thought, staring at Vincent's face intently; looking for motion or a spark of emotion. He found neither.

When Cloud thought about it, Vincent's dark and mysterious aura seemed to mix well with everyone's _more_ bright and cheery ones; adding a certain edge to the group._ 'Then again every one of us has a little darkness inside, right? He's just not scared of letting it show--or maybe he doesn't have a choice.' _Cloud thought. Just then Vincent's crimson eyes caught his blue ones. He quickly averted his gaze, letting them land on Red and Cait. Cait was trying to get back on Red, but was too short, and his tiny gloved hands were making it harder to grapple on to anything. Cloud continued to watch Cait jump up and down; Cait never running out of energy despite the constant movement. _'What's with his need to be carried all the time.' _Cloud thought with wonder. Cait caught Cloud staring. "I could use a little help here!" Cait cried out with a shivery whine.

Cloud shrugged his shoulders. "Why? when your doing such a great job." Cloud said with a dry voice. Red gave a smirk.

"Food's here!" Tifa hollered carrying seven large pizza boxes. "Here let me help you, Tifa." Yuffie said.

"Thanks, Yuffie. Seems none of these lazy bums are gonna lift a finger." Tifa said scowling at the men. Yuffie grabbed one box, and left the other six for Tifa to carry. Tifa let out huff of disbelief. "Your welcome." said Yuffie as she carried the box to the table.

"Well, I'll be, it's about damn time!" Cid said. Both him and Barret moving from the bar, sliding to the tables were the food was held. "Yuffie, why don't you go get some plates." Tifa ordered Yuffie.

"Why do I have to get the plates!" She cried with a pout on her lips. "I'm more hungry then anyone!" she continued to whine. She was ignored. "Grr..."

Cloud stood. "I'm going to get the kids." He said. Not waiting for a response he made for the stairs.

He made his way through the hall past Tifa's room, the little office, a guest bedroom, and stood at his. He felt a strong urge to go into his closet and dig out the hidden objects. He shook his head in disapproval. _'There'll be plenty of time to do that afterwards.'_

He continued on to Marlene and Denzel's room. He tapped lightly on the door and entered. They were both at the drawing table, and from what Cloud could see, making masterpieces. They had pencils, pens, crayons, paint; anything an aspiring artist would need, at their disposal.

"What is that?" Marlene asked with amusement in her voice. He saw Denzel turning his picture in every direction, trying to decipher his own drawing. Marlene held a hand over her mouth trying, unsuccessfully, to cover her giggles. Denzel put his drawing down, and scratched his head in confusion still trying to figure out his picture.

"You know," he turned to her, with a smile on his lips. "I really don't know." They both started laughing. Cloud looked on with amusement. "Hey guys" he called to them. They both turned their heads and smiled at Cloud. "Hey Cloud!" they said in unison. Denzel immediately snatched his drawing, and held it up for Cloud to see. "What does this look like to you, Cloud?" asked Denzel with a smile full of mirth. What Cloud saw was a picture full of dots, stripes, glitter, and what looked like ribbon? Cloud chuckled. "I haven't a clue, but I do know everyone's waiting for us since foods here. So come on." Cloud said gesturing out the door.

"Yeah food's here!" they both exclaimed excitedly and went dashing out the room. Cloud smiled to himself, turned off the lights and shut the door.

* * *

TBC. R&R please. Since this is my first story, constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four: Barret, the Father

Dinner went on without a hitch. They stayed away from the topic of Cloud's absence-lest there be an awkward silence again, and talked about what new job, or project was now occupying their time. Everybody had brought their appetite, leaving only one-half of a large pizza out of the seven, surprising Cloud since Vincent, Cait, and Red didn't eat. _"Human food makes my breadbasket act most irregular."_ Red said as a matter of fact.

It was a quarter past one in the morning when everyone got ready to leave. "You taking me home right, Cids?" asked Yuffie in a baby voice, her eyes droopy with exhaustion.

Cid's head snapped to her. "What? Who said I was taking your bratty ass home! You came here on you own devises, you can leave here--" Cid got cut off with Yuffie's insistent whining. "But Cid..." Cid shook his head so hard, it looked like it'd fall off. "No! I've gotta go home too you know!" yelled Cid and made his way to the exit, still grumbling. Everyone, excluding Cloud, Barret, and Tifa, followed Cid. Cloud looked on, amused by the situation. Cid turned around upon hearing everyone following him. "When was I assigned fucking cab driver of the night!" Cid yelled, then continued on with hushed tones. "If I knew this was going to happen, I would've dragged my ass home earlier." As he made his way to the exit door, Vincent spoke with his deep, serious voice. "This might be the chance to show off Shera's, true abilities."

There was a dramatic pause, then Cid turned to them and exclaimed. "Well, what are you tired asses waiting for? Let's get a movin!" Cid clapped everyone on the back as they passed him and went out the door. The place was silent now.

"He sure is eccentric." Tifa said as she picked up the dirty dishes.

"Amen to that." Agreed Barret. Barret went to the other room and called out to Cloud. "Hey, come give me a hand over here."

Cloud entered the living area and saw Barret picking up Marlene. Barret nodded towards Denzel. "Get 'im would ya" Cloud nodded.

They both walked out with a child in hand and made their way up the stairs. They made it to the children's dark room, but left the light off as not to disturb them, letting the moon light be their guide. They put each child in their respective beds. Cloud tucked Denzel in and smoothed the boy's hair out of his face. Cloud bent up and watched Barret as he tucked Marlene in. Cloud never saw Barret so gentle. With his one hand he laid her head gently on the pillow then proceeded to tuck her in. Barret bent down and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I love you daddy." He heard Marlene whisper.

"Love you too, honey. Go to sleep now." Barret responded, but the words were lost on her as she was fast asleep already.

Barret let out a hushed sigh and looked down at Marlene. "I'm thinking about getting work closer to home, something more steady so I won't be gone for weeks on end." Barret scratched at his head with his metal arm. "Kids grow up so damn fast these days, ya know, I'm afraid I might miss something, something important." He looked at Cloud. "What do you think, Cloud?"

"Uh..." Cloud shrugged his shoulders. "I guess if I had a kid, I'd feel the same."

Barret chuckled. "When the hell you gonna have some spiky-headed kids, in fact when the hell you gonna fuckin settle down, son?" Barret asked with a sly grin. He offered the question, now what's the answer.

Cloud's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. He didn't like this question. Because honestly, he didn't see himself being happy with anyone; not in this life anyway.

"All right fish boy, no reason to choke on that damn tongue of yours." Barret said with amusement. Cloud cleared his throat. Barret grabbed him by the shoulders, turned him around and pushed him right out the door, then silently shut the door behind them. "All right kid, let's go get us a nice stiff drink downstairs." Barret started shoving Cloud down the hall, then down the stairs, all the while laughing at Cloud for the stupid faces he was making. Cloud's only protest. "Uh..."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five: Barret's Hammered Truth

They were both seated with a drink in hand, and could hear the clank clankof Tifa washing dishes.

Barret took a gulp of his drink, then spoke. "So Cloud have you thought of working closer to home?"

Cloud let out an annoyed sigh. "Look Barret, this is my work. Tifa gives the info on the clients and I go, that's it, end of story." Cloud took a big gulp of his drink, almost finishing it in one go.

"Yeah man, I fuckin get that, but when you **go**on a job that's only supposed to be a few days, it ends up being a few months. Not a fuckin call, Not a fuckin thing, man. It just gets me wonderin," Barret's stops to take a drink allowing Cloud's thought to slip in. "Wondering what?" Barret slams his now empty glass. "Wondering what the fuck your doing out there, when your on your own. If maybe...your searching for something you know you won't find." Barret looks him straight in the eyes. Cloud looks away--has to look away, cause he feels at that moment Barret might know all his secrets.

Barret poured himself another drink, took a swig, and stared at Cloud; seeing his words seep through. _'If I can bring him to his goddamn senses, if he even has any, may be things can fuckin change around here.' _Barret thought and continued on. "Look Cloud, man, what we got here: our friends, family, our drink," Barret paused, and gulped down the rest of his liquor. "It's all good, baby, but seems for shit when we gone. No what I'm talking 'bout." Cloud nodded. " I thought you did. I mean you can't be that damn thick not to see what's--" Barret waved a hand in front of his eyes. "You know. I have Marlene and you have Tifa and Denzel," Cloud looked up and for the first time and noticed how silent it was. "They're very important...people, and goddamnit we should try our fuckin...damn..hardest to be there. That's why we gotta...fuckin..stick here." Barret said pointing to the bar. Cloud rolled his eyes, deeply annoyed at the now plastered Barret, Cloud sighed as Barret continued. "That's why we need to fuckin quit our...f-fuckin jobs and, and work at this--" Barret looked around. "Place"

"I already work here Barret, with Tifa, being her delivery boy," said Cloud. Barret nodded in agreement. "So you're saying I should quit," Barret nodded, obviously out of state of mind.

"Working here...quit working with Tifa," Barret nodded continuously. His eyes shutting a bit.

"Are you saying I should move out?"

Barret snapped to attention. "Whoa wha wha...no! I didn't say that you thickheaded numbskull!" Barret continued on quietly, to himself. "What the hell was I saying?"

Cloud rubbed at his forming headache, trying to will it away. He noticed Tifa's shadow lingering at the other side of the wall; thinking she's out of view. He wouldn't be surprised if she had a hand in this. A drunk Barret, to Cloud, was an annoying Barret. Unless he, himself, was drunk, but he wasn't. So alas, he found the whole situation unbelievably unbearable, a total waste of his time, and just totally down right...annoying. He stood quickly, letting the highchair scrape against the wooden floor. He saw Tifa's shadow move away slightly.

Barret grabbed his arm. "He-hey where you goin?"

"Look this whole thing is nonsense. Do you even have a point, because if you don't, I have better things to do than watch you get more hammered than you already are." Cloud said, snatching his arm back out of Barret's grip.

"I do have a point goddamn it, just give me a second..." said Barret. He rubbed at his head, then shook it, trying to get rid of the dizziness and sleepiness he felt. The sight was strange to Cloud. Never in his life had he seen Barret fight the inevitable. He always passed out where he stood, when smashed. "My point is...that, you need-to let-the fuck go already," Every word emphasised with a bang of his metal hand on the wooden bar.

Cloud's eyes hardened with anger. "Now look here Barret, I--" Cloud's words were cut off.

"No, my friend...Cloud, you look here, when are you gonna man up and except the fact...that she's gone." Cloud shook his head. He couldn't.

"She is, man. We all mourned her...death, but have moved on; it's what she'd wanted,

Cloud. She did what she had to, to ensure everyone safety." Barret stopped and looked over at Cloud. His face was like stone and his mouth was pinched shut; not letting a sound, a syllable,

be heard. Barret continued. "She...Aerith would want you to be happy." At the mention of her name,

Cloud felt his chest tighten and his throat constrict with sorrow. He looked to the opposite wall; looked away from Barret, lest he see the untamed emotion ready to burst through. "Cloud?"

Barret asked, seeing if he agreed with what he'd said.

Barret shook Cloud's shoulder, trying to get his attention. Cloud turned his head to Barret, his jaw clenched and brows furrowed in determination. Barret looked into his eyes, and saw it all there; all the remorse, sadness, sorrow and self-hate. Cloud's eyes shimmered with tears and mako energy and Barret finally understood. At least he thinks he does. "Cloud, do you blame yourself for what happened?" Cloud looked away. "Cause not a damn thing will change what happened back--"

"I fucking know that!" Cloud cried, cutting Barret off. "I hate it. Hate knowing..." He stopped. He couldn't continue on any more. He looked at Barret. His face was a contortion of pain, and Barret could literally feel his heartache. "I'm...so sorry." Cloud said, his voice a mere whisper. He then walked away, leaving Barret dumbfounded.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Square Enix

Warnings: Just lil bit of language.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

Chapter six: Tifa's Sadness

Tifa came out from her hiding spot, and saw Barret with his face in his hand. She walked around the bar and came to stand beside him. "What's wrong?" she asked, rubbing his back.

He looked up at her. "Like you don't know. He's fuckin...insane" Barret said, chuckling darkly.

Tifa shook her head in disagreement. "He's not. He's just, going through a tough time...I guess."

Barret looked at his empty glass, and refilled it. "Oh boy, there's always...somethin up with that kid," He paused and took a sip of his drink. Tifa looked at Barret and sighed. "First it was Sephiroth and Meteor, then he had to deal with his identity crisis, and now this, this...whatever." Barret stopped, finally resigned, and gulped down the rest of his drink. He reached for the bottle's neck, just to have Tifa snatch it out of his grasp.

"I think you've had enough, Barret." She smiled gently at him. He smiled back tiredly and let out a heavy sigh. "Damn I guess your right, Tifa. I think I'll just go on up and hit the haystack."

He got up and stretched, letting out a groan as his back popped in protest. He looked down at Tifa. "I think you should go up and talk to him." She shook her head. He nodded back and continued. "You do, sweetheart. You need to go up...and clear the air." His hands waving in the air as to make known the meaning of his words.

"Clear the air, what do you mean?" she asked, his effort in vain.

"You know...tell him how you feel, save him from himself, do somethin--I don't know!" Barret answered.

She blushed and looked away. "He already knows how I feel, Barret." She said.

Barret let out a huff, the sour smell of liquor hitting her face. "Really?" She nodded. "You've, told him...how you feel?" She looked to Barret then looked away. She hadn't.

"I always believed actions speak louder than words, and he can see by all my actions that I...love him." She said in a hushed tone, embarrassed that after all this time, she still hadn't told him how she truly feels, but she knows he knows, and he knows she knows he knows...how she feels. She thinks.

Barret then let out a loud laugh. "Girl, this is fuckin Cloud we're talking about here," He continued to chuckle. "He's so damn thick headed. You can't just show him, you need to fuckin tell him. Has he even told you how he feels?" Barret looked at her. She didn't need to answer. He already knew 'cause he knows Cloud, and Cloud doesn't tell anyone how he feels. _'But goddamn if his eyes do_...' Barret thought, remembering the look in Cloud's eyes.

She looked down, then spoke in a quiet voice. "No, but--" Barret rudely and loudly cut her off. "--_he's shown you_?" She looked at Barret, his mocking tone doing more than making her angry. It was hurting her feelings too.

She nodded. "Yes, he has. I have come to terms with the fact that he's never going to get me flowers, or...or hold my hand, or give me kisses," she paused and looked down her feet. "Even say those three little words I want to hear most of all..." Barret grabbed her chin and lifted her face up to look into her eyes. She started crying. "oh, Barret..." He hugged her close as sob after sob thwacked her body.

"What's wrong girl, why you upset?" Barret asked as she quieted down. She shook her head and her lip trembled, she didn't know why she was so upset. "Don't cry no mo' boo. You a tough bitch, I don't like to see you so...out o'sort." Barret said as he wiped at the two remaining tears that had slipped down. She gave him a watery smile.

She let out a sigh. "Thanks, Barr..." she said as she continued to wipe at her face. "You know, he's just a, shy...person is all. He doesn't know how to express his emotions."

Barret nodded. "You still need to talk to him." He said.

"I will." She said as Barret pulled her into a hug. "Good. Night, boo." He gave her a kiss on the forehead then moved to the stairs. He staggered a little.

She called to him. "You need help?"

He waved his hand at her. "No, no, I'll be all right." He said as he steadily climbed up the stairs.

She sat down heavily on the chair Cloud had occupied moments before, and looked down at the bottle of liquor that she still held in her hands, and took a gulp, wincing at the taste. She wasn't much for drinking, in fact she didn't drink at all, but felt she needed something to steel her nerves. She took another swallow.

_'What am I even going to say to him_.' She slammed the bottle down, got up and made her way to Cloud. _'Now is the moment of truth, Tifa.'_ She thought to herself as she made her way up the stairs.

* * *

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Cloud's Pain

He walked away swiftly; trying to make his feet carry him away as quickly and quietly as possible. With Barrett's words still ringing fresh in his mind, he tried to control emotions that he held on to fiercely. His finger nails biting into the palm of his hands as he tried to get a grip of the rushing tidal wave within. His mako blue eyes surrendered to the onslaught of emotions. Tears ran down his face in rivulets, which he roughly wiped away with the back of his arm. "Shit…" he said with a choked breath.

As he reached his room his hand clumsily grasped for the door handle as he hurriedly tried to gain entrance. He silently closed it behind himself and stood against the door, his hand on the handle; ready to deny anyone admittance.

He waited a moment to see if anyone had followed, if anyone had heard. _'So much for working locks.' _He thought as he jiggled the door handle. He released a held breath and made his way to the center of his bedroom where temporary comfort was stationed. He threw himself against the unused bed; the bed creaking in protest.

He flung an arm across his face, trying to block out reality. Barret's words had resonated true, but they had agitated a wound that never actually healed, and as far as he was concerned, never truly will. He thought back to what had been said;

'…_you need to let go.'_

'…_she's gone.'_

'…_she'd want you to be happy.'_

"Do you blame yourself for what happened?" He repeated that part aloud. His face cringed at all the 'what ifs' plaguing his mind. What if he had gotten there sooner? What if he was stronger? What if, what if. He's had time to think about all the possibilities, all the actions that could've been taken.

'_What if she had never met me, would she still be alive today?' _ As quickly as that thought filtered through, he brushed it away as it crept by, because whether it fate or his stolen past, they would've somehow met one another, and to think of living life without having known her, makes his chest tighten and his throat clench.

A single tear runs down his cheek, tickling the inside of his ear. It is the only warning before more came rushing forth. He snatches a pillow from his side, smothering his face against its softness. He screams his anguish. Growling and hiccupping into the tear soaked pillow. Knowing it's only muffling and not silencing his cries; he tries unsuccessfully to compose his emotions.

But try as he might. When should've, would've, could've came into play, it made it harder to contain any of his emotions. He relived any happy moment he had with her. Their walks and conversations; however one-sided it was, her smile and laughter. It all led to that final moment and it was like losing her all over again. Every sight, sound, smell was clear, it was as if he traveled back in time; reliving that moment in replay. The sight of Sephiroth's six foot blade ripping through her chest, the sound of flesh being sliced, the smell of fresh blood as it pelted the ground.

He roughly snatched the saturated pillow from his face and threw it against the wall. His body shook as a leaf in a rainstorm and his bloodshot eyes where wide in terror. He released shallow, shaky breaths, hiccupping every now and then as he tried to control his breathing. He quickly wiped any remnant tears from his face. He punched his clenched fists against the mattress as tears kept a steady flow.

"Damn it!" He said through gritted teeth. He shut his eyes and let himself cry; not trying to hide his pain any longer.

During his entire emotional outpouring he never heard the squeak of the door open or the muted footsteps on the carpeted floor as they made their way to his person. It wasn't until he felt a hand brush his knee, that he knew he wasn't alone.

He whipped his body forward, sitting up, startling the person standing before him.

"Cloud?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: A Childs Understanding

"Cloud?"

At the sound of his name his body shot up like a rocket, his heart rate increased and body tensed. He was ready to strike anyone who dared enter his personal space; natural reaction considering his past. The soft, timid voice made him pause a moment, thankfully choosing to reconsider a hasty, deadly response. His mako colored eyes landed on a pair of brown, frightened eyes.

He let out a heavy sigh, "Marlene," And swiftly wiped at bloodshot eyes and running nose. '_Holy shit, I must look a mess!'_He thought as she studied his face intensely. Her body pulled into itself, in fear of his impetuous reaction.

"Marlene, what are you doing up?" he asked as he suddenly stood up, wanting to hide from her searching eyes. He walked around his room; picked up his tossed pillow, straightened out photo frames and letters, unnecessarily- wanting to occupy his mind, which warrant unsuccessful.

She twirled her fingers into her pajama top, twisting and knotting it in a nervous gesture. "Uh," she continued to watch him as he moved about his room. "I heard…um, noises. I just wanted to see…if you were okay?" she asked, her voice a mere whisper.

Cloud stopped; looked at her and noticed her discomfort. He rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. _'Damn I probably look like a caged animal, ready to strike, which I was.'_ He walked to her extending his palm to her; taking her hand in a soothing manner. He sat heavily upon his bed; guiding her by the hand to sit by his side.

"I'm sorry, Marlene, if I frightened you. I just wasn't expecting anyone to come in here and see me like this. I'm, uh, kind of embarrassed." He said as he rubbed at warm, red-rimmed eyes. "It's really unlike me." He added.

She shrugged. "It's okay, but you were kinda loud." She said honestly. Cloud chuckled nervously. "Oh great, you think anyone else heard me blubbering?" He said with a smirk, wanting to lighten the mood for her sake and needing to stay clear from the more serious topic of why he was crying in the first place. Marlene wasn't amused, but gave him a worried smile for his effort.

"You don't have to worry about Denzel, he sleeps like the dead. There's no waking him up. And as for daddy, well, I saw him drinking that brown yucky stuff." Cloud looked at her with a smirk and asked, "Brown yucky stuff?" She gave him an incredulous look that said _you should know this already._ He offered his hands up for her continuance.

She continued. "Anyway, daddy gets really, really sleepy after drinking that, stuff—so he's no bother. But Tifa, she's a different story." Cloud groaned and shook his head. 'I _wouldn't be surprised if she came busting in here right now.'_ He thought as he turned his eyes to the door in expectancy.

"I'm sensing some hostity—"

"You mean hostility?" Cloud interrupted. Marlene nodded in agreement. Cloud continued. "No, no hostility. Where did you get that from anyway?" He asked. She shrugged, not offering an answer.

"Why were you crying?" She asked abruptly. Cloud looked at her in astonishment and shook his head. "You are too young to worry about such things, and even then, it's personal, grown-up stuff. You understand?" He looked at her expectantly. She looked away, embarrassed. "It's just you grown-ups tend to make things harder than they are. I just wanted to help." She replied as she pulled on a stray yearn from Cloud's bed.

Cloud pulled her tightly to his side, giving her a hug. "Well I appreciate it, but I'll be fine." He said. She looked up at him; gave him a small smile. They sat in silence for a while, both deep in thought. "Tifa cries a lot too, you know." Marlene said, interrupting the silence. Cloud looked at her in surprise. '_Well, wasn't expecting that.'_ He thought, but not really knowing what to say.

She continued. "I think she likes to pretend that she's all strong and stuff, but she's real sad…I guess. But really, I think it comes more from being…hmm, what's the word for being tired of dealing with the same thing all the time?" She asked, looking to Cloud for clarification. Cloud looked at Marlene, thinking. "Hmm, I believe that would be frustrated…maybe." He answered.

Marlene looked thoughtful before continuing. "Yeah that sounds 'bout right. She's frustrated; so she cries." Cloud sighs; rubs his head feeling another headache coming on. '_This is just proof that I have let everybody down.'_

"Does she usually talk to about this stuff?" Cloud asked.

"Stuff, oh about her being…frustrated?" she replied, trying to stifle a yawn.

Cloud nodded in agreement. "Well, sometimes…cause everyone else is gone; daddy, you, and the rest of the group. You guys got your own thing. And she definitely can't talk with Denzel. He just looks at her so confused!" she chuckled at her friend's expense before her mouth broke out into big yawn.

"Well I'll see what I can do to help, Tifa." Cloud said. Marlene's eyes perked up with Cloud's reassurance. "You promise to stay here with us?" She asked excitedly. Cloud couldn't help but feel like it was some sort of set-up, because he's broken a lot of promises, to a lot of people, he didn't want to add Marlene to that list. "Listen, Marlene, there's time when I will have to go, that's part of my job. But I promise to try my hardest to be…here."

She smiled big and said, "That's good enough for me!" Cloud brought her to a standing position with him and pulled her into his arms for a hug. "I think it's time for you to go to bed. What do you say?" He asked, taking in her droopy eyes and constant yawns. She nodded wholeheartedly. He led her to the door; opened it for her. "Good night Marlene." He said quietly as he nudged her to her shared room. She waved a tired hand in response.

He closed his door gently as to not disturb anybody else. As he was making it to his bed he heard a light knock at his door. Shuffling his way to the door, he had a feeling of who it was. When he opened the door he came face to face with brownish-amber eyes.

"Hey, Cloud can we talk?"


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Characters belong to their proper creator(s)

A/N: Okay so I lost all my notes and scribbles of where I had wanted this story to go. So I had to start afresh; thinking of new ideas and scenarios, which sucks. But anyway, this chapter is the most longest I've written, which is okay. It's like 3 or 4 of _my_ chapters combined ha, but it just flowed out that way. Please leave your opinion and thank you for reading.

Chapter 9: _Living in the Past; Her confession_

_Hey, Cloud, can we talk?_

Cloud inhaled deeply, trying to steel his nerves and control his heartbeat. He had faced ferocious monsters-big and small, a momma crazed lunatic, as well as knocked at death's door. But at the sound of those four words, he felt his heart start palpitating and his palms start sweating. Sure he knew they needed to have this conversation sooner or later; he even suggested it earlier that evening, but he hoped it would be later, much later, maybe through a text even. He exhaled slowly and looked back longingly at his bed and then looked pointedly at her, his look silently replying, '_I'm going to bed. Can't we do this another time?'_

As if reading his mind she continued, "I need to talk with you, now." She looked at his bed. Taking notice of its rumpled-ness and askew pillows. She folded her arms under her heavy chest and looked down, her eyes shifting nervously. She continued rapidly. "Please? I have some things I need to get off my chest."

He let out a sigh and scratched the scruff of his neck, trying to think of an excuse. But he figured none would suffice and would only service to piss her off, and in the long run make this discussion even more unpleasant. He reluctantly moved to the side, granting her temporary access.

As she passed the threshold, she said a quiet "Thank you." and made her way to his bed.

Preparing to sit, she picked up his pillow and noticed its slight dampness in certain areas. She looked at him quizzically. He roughly snatched the pillow out of her hands and then used the pillow to point towards the bed in a _'take a seat'_ gesture. Her hands slowly lowered, finally taking note of their sudden emptiness; being stunned by his abruptness. She sat down heavily, smoothed out her short skirt and gave a quiet cough; trying to clear her nerves. She waited for him to sit beside her, but noticed he chose not to sit next to her in favor of the bay window that was across the room. Her brow furrowed in thought _'Already he's trying to put a distance between us.' _

He threw the pillow against the window pane to service as a cushion and sat down with a heavy sigh. _'Let's get this over with.'_ He thought as he rubbed his tear wearied eyes. The moon shone bright through the large window offering adequate lighting, but was too intimate for his liking.

"Why are you sitting all the way over there?" She asked, throwing him a hopeful look.

He shrugged and silently stood, made his way to his desk and switched on a lamp; the light of the lamp offering more than the moon. He pulled out the chair from within the desk, moved it more closely to the bed and sat; his front to the back of the chair. He folded his arms in front of him and rested his chin on his forearms and waited for her to speak.

She sighed and let a sad smile play on her lips. "I was hoping you would sit with me, but I guess we're not as close as we used to be."

He frowned. "What is on your mind, Tifa?" He asked, a little too nonchalantly for her liking.

Her brows furrowed, her lips quivered and her bosom heaved out from her inhalation. She wanted to scream, to spit and throw things at him, but instead let out a desperate whisper. "How, can you be so dense?!" Her eyes were pleading, beckoning a response.

He stared straight into her eyes and saw all the hurt he had caused her. Like an open canvas, she was, but instead of staring into its beauty he shuddered and averted his eyes. There was a time once, when he was younger, that he would've been happy to simply be caught in her gaze, even if her attention was to be shared with many. He would have done anything to have her undivided attention, even going as far as joining SHINRA to show her his worth.

He shook his head. '_Man what a love struck punk I was…?'_

She saw the shake of his head and took it as a negative. Her eyes shifted and she stared blankly at the floor. She could feel her throat constrict, her face muscles twitching and eyesight becoming blurry.

'_Damn!' _She thought as a single tear rolled smoothly down her face. '_I haven't even begun to tell him—to explain to him my feelings, and already I feel like curling into a ball and sobbing.'_ She chanced a glance his way and met his guilty stare. The lamp was positioned behind him, casting the front of his body into shadow, but the mako energy that would always live in him, glows a slight green in his naturally blue eyes; standing out against the darkness. It would always be a reminder of his painful adolescence.

She would forever feel slightly guilty when she thought about their past childhood. She felt that if maybe she paid more attention, if she stood up more often than not against the town's people hurtful words and seemingly strong dislike towards Cloud that he would have had a better childhood. Growing up, she never understood why people treated him as they did, why they chose to make him the outsider of their little town. When she was young she thought surely there was someone, other than his mother, who cared for him. Of course there were a few of the elderly townsfolk who felt bad for him and treated him better than the others. But when it came to the kids, they would always shun him; most of them anyway. At first when she befriended him it was because of pity, but as she came to know him, she began to like him. He wasn't like all the other boys who fought and acted stupid for her attention and she begun to seek his company more than the others. Of course, that only made the young boys dislike him even more. Sometimes, Cloud would even find himself at the end of their hurtful pranks. Of course, he would take it all in stride.

'_Cloud was always strong. I guess he always had to be then, but now…?' _She quickly wiped the cooling, remnant tears from her cheeks and rubbed her hands against her skirt.

Cloud saw the faraway look disappear from her face and wondered—"Where were you, Tifa?" he asked out loud, watching as she wiped her face.

She jolted a bit. She didn't forget that he was there, far from. If there was anything the man lacked, it definitely wasn't presence. She just didn't expect him to speak. "Hmm? Oh, I was just remembering," she said as she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She watched as his head tilted slightly to the side and his brows arch inquiringly, encouraging her to continue. "I was remembering when we were younger," She watched him nod his head in understanding. She continued. "How some of the people treated you, especially the young, dumb kids," she let out a soft chuckle, more out of sadness than mirth.

Cloud smiled softly in understanding, but not knowing why she chose to bring it up. He vaguely remembered those days when he was a child. He never quite understood why people made him the bane of their existence and till this day, he really doesn't. He supposes he never will. He figured it had something to do with his father, who he never knew, or remembers knowing. He doesn't remember if his mother ever showed him pictures of _him_, surely if they were lovers she must have had photos of his father. He couldn't recall though. Also, he doesn't remember if she ever spoke of _him, _in fact, he hardly even remembers his own mother or any of the conversations they may have had; about his father, school, or about life in general.

'_Great! So I can recall painful memories from my childhood, but I can hardly remember my mother!" _he thought angrily as he rubbed at his head, trying to ward of the headache that was threatening to sneak through, of which he failed miserably. The headache started gradually, but seemed to have taken on a life of its own as it became in sync with his heartbeat and thu-thumped against his cranium. From 0-60, that is how his headaches work. They come even faster when he tries to recollect certain memories, or if he tries to remember at all. He knows it's because of his time spent being used as an experiment and has resigned to never truly remembering anything but bits and piece of his youth.

He released his breath and then continued to breathe deeply and slowly, letting his eyes stay closed; trying to clear his thoughts. He could hear Tifa, faintly, as she continued to talk. "_I don't blame you for what happened at the mountain or the coma I was in, that followed,"_ He continued to breathe deeply. "_I'm sure my father would have forgiven you, eventually."_ He opened his eyes slowly, letting them rest on her as she continued, albeit more quietly, nervously. "_And I'm sure nothing could have been done about Nibelheim. I mean who would have known Sephiroth—" _

He let her voice fade, try as he might. That was a memory was burned on his mind, which could be recalled without even trying. Sephiroth and the fire he created that killed their parents, his mother and her father, and countless other innocent lives that wouldn't be spared, also, another moment where Tifa had been badly injured, which he had no control over. '_And I'm sure if her father had survived, he would have made me responsible for that one as well. Not that I blame him…'_ He thought as he released an aggravated breath, his nerves way beyond agitated.

And in his aggravation he spoke and interrupted her before she could continue to go down the long list of his faults and failures. "As much as I appreciate your forgiveness, can you just…shut up about it already!? I'm sorry you father's dead, but so is my mother. It's in the past. Leave it there!" he said harshly as he got up quickly, letting the chair scrape against the hard floor. He walked towards the bay window and stared out into the stillness below, wanting and trying to reign in his anger.

She sat stunned, but then stood just as quickly; ready for a showdown. "Oh, excuse me? You fucking hypocrite! It's not even about that, and don't you tell me to shut up! And how dare YOU, of all people, tell me to leave the past alone, when all you're even doing is living in the past!" she yelled angrily as she made her way towards him.

He turned around, coming face to face with her. "Will you be quiet? There are other people here. The last thing we need is everyone barging in here wanting to know what's going on." He hissed.

She tsked. "Good, let them come! I know everyone wants to know where you've been and why you've been gone so long, you JERK!" Her voice picked up volume with each word that was uttered, finally coming to a full blown scream as she cursed at him.

He heard the sound of a bang, as if someone either fell out of bed or rushed to get up. Most likely being the latter. '_I wouldn't be surprised if Barret came busting in now.'_ He thought nervously, letting his eyes shift to the door before letting them scan the room, finally allowing them rest on her.

If she was expecting an apology, she'd be sadly mistaken. "Would you keep your voice down?!" he said through clenched teeth and his eyes glaring at her.

She let out a cry of frustration and pulled her right fist back, ready to take a swing and like a spring being released, her gloveless fist flew at him. His eyes widened in surprise, but his instincts kicked in; feeling the rush of adrenaline, he moved to the side. He roughly grabbed her offending appendage; taking her by the wrist, the momentum of her flying fist making it easier to maneuver her.

She yelped in pain as her vision became an instant blur. Her world shifted as he blocked and then spun her around to avoid her punch. His tight and painful grip on her wrist made her fist give way under the pressure and she could already feel the numbness from the lack of blood circulation. She cried out in surprise as the back of her knees hit the seat of the bay window and felt his grip release finally as he let her go. She could feel herself falling backwards and tried to regain her balance; her arms swinging wildly in her effort. She landed crudely. Her butt helping to cushion the rough landing, but the force caused her legs to kick up awkwardly and the back of her head to hit against the window pane with a loud thud; the sound seeming louder against the silence of the room.

His eyes widened at the sound and his body tensed as he feared for the worst. He watched the scene play in slow motion, as if in someone else's body even, and felt the rushing sense of guilt and shame as he knew he took it too far. He could clearly see the reddish hue in the shape of his hand tainting the skin of her wrist. Tifa was a tough woman, Cloud knew this—she fought alongside him in many battles; he knew of her strength and of her ability to withstand what most women couldn't or wouldn't. But, despite all that he knows, he is also aware of her delicateness; the petite-ness of her body, could feel as such when his hand engulfed the entirety of her wrist and felt the carpals shift under the pressure they were receiving; ready to snap and crumble if not released .

He stood still, afraid to move even afraid to breathe as he watched her lay motionless. His body relaxed and he let out his held breath as he watched her move into a sitting position. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face wet with tears and he felt the weight of guilt again gnaw at his heart. He walked over to her and stretched out his hands to her; more out of surrender than of any real help, and felt the sting of rejection as she slapped his hands away. He watched as she folded into herself; her knees pressing in close and her face tucking into the wall they created. Sob after sob could be heard and her body shook with the force of her cries and her breath would hiccup. He had never seen her this way and it made him nervous. She was like an open wound that was gushing and needed stitching, and he was like a poor, scared civilian, untrained and unsure of what to do, but stay back and wait it out or call for help. He was tempted to call Barrett, even took a step back towards the doors direction, but was afraid of how that might look to Tifa. Like a wild person running from a fire, hands flailing about, screaming at the top of his lungs, '_Barret!'_ that's how he would be because this person before him isn't the physically, mentally and emotionally strong woman he had grown up with; this person was frail, almost broken.

'_When did she get so skinny? Why haven't I noticed this before?' _ He thought as he took in her small stature. Tifa was always '_small'_, but there was always an underlying strength to her; like muscle just simply being covered with skin. But now as he looked at her, truly looked, she was just skin and bone. Where curves and softness was, now is a hardness and sharpness to her body. He turned away from her in shame, knowing that he was the cause of her pain.

The light from the hall outlined his door frame and he could see shadow underneath his doorway, a telltale sign that someone was listening. He made his way to his bed, opposite Tifa and sat down heavily, the springs squeaking in protest. He continued to watch the eavesdropping shadow. '_If it's Barret, I wish he would just come in here and blow my head open. It's what I deserve.' _He thought darkly as he watched the shadow disappear to the left side, followed shortly by the light turning off. '_Definitely not, Barret—he would have probably busted down the door at the first sound of her crying.' _

He laid his head down in his hands and roughly rubbed his eyelids; trying to get rid of the scratchiness and pending tears that threatened to break through. '_I won't allow it…I won't cry, not again!' _He thought fiercely as he brought the inside of his right hand to his lips and lightly bit; the slight pain taking immediate focus. He released a heavy breath as he got control of himself once again and noticed the silence of the room, and then the light dip of the bed as Tifa sat right beside him. Her right arm wrapped around his left and she laid her head upon his slouched shoulder. He raised his head and looked at her, her red and puffy face being the first thing he sees, her eyes unfocused as she stares blankly at the wall.

"I'm sorry, Cloud," She whispers softly. He continues to look at her, finally meeting her gaze as she looks at him, "for everything."

He pulls out of the hold she has on him, just to pull her into an embrace; hugging her tightly to him, her arms coming around him as well. "I'm the one who should be saying they're sorry, Tifa." He said into her hair, kissing the top of her head softly. She sighed contentedly at his warmth. "This is how it's supposed to be." She mumbled as she snuggled deeper into his chest. He smiled lightly, not hearing her, and petted the thickness of her dark, brown hair. He had been in love with her once and if it had been years before, this single moment would have been his moment of bliss. They stayed in the embrace for several minutes, offering and allowing one another comfort.

'_Barret was wrong. He does know I love him and I know he loves me.' _She thought, feeling Cloud start to pull away. '_But I'll tell him just so he doesn't doubt…'_

Cloud pulled away from Tifa and gave her a soft smile in his departure. He got up and made his way to his closet, remembering the two items that were stashed away. "Hey, Tifa, I got something to ask you." Cloud said as he opened his closet door. He recalled Marlene saying she got Tifa to help her with some of the words, hoping it was because of their difficulty and not the book being in a completely different language. '_Maybe Tifa can help me figure this out.'_

She inhaled and exhaled slowly, gathering her courage. "Cloud, I love you." She said. Her eyes shut tightly as if afraid of his response, which when there was none, she opened her eyes. She repeated. "Cloud, I love you." The words coming out easier, she waited for him to respond and got a muffled "Hmm?" She huffed as she heard him digging around in his closet. She waited for him to come out, which wasn't long, and saw that he had his hands full. She closed her eyes and opened them, trying to refocus herself. "Cloud, I love you…"

"Huh?" he asked, more out of distraction than of any real confusion. "Oh, yeah, I love you too, Tifa." He said, looking at her and giving her a small smile before redirecting his attention to the two objects in his hands again. Her eyes squinted, trying to make out the items he held. '_That book and the lamp…when did he get those?'_ She thought as she watched him clumsily drop the lamp. He let out a quiet, "Shit." as he bent to pick it up. "Where did you get those, Cloud?"

"Marlene. She told me about them. She even said that you helped her decipher some of the words." He said, closing the closet door behind him. He continued, "I thought maybe you could help me? Figuring since you already had a look at it, maybe you could fill me in on what you know?" He asked as he made his way back towards her.

She shook her head in bewilderment and let out a frustrated breath. '_Like hell!'_ She thought before replying, "No, Cloud, you do not understand..." She stood before him, wanting him to comprehend and not be so unresponsive to her declaration of '_love'._ He looked at her in confusion. "What," he asked, "you're not going to help me?"

She stomped her right, booted foot and huffed. "No, Cloud…!"

He looked her incredulously, "Okay, Tifa, that's all you had to say, although, I don't understand why you won't. All you have to do is tell me what you know and I'll figure it out from there, but, okay. And you don't have to yell at me, I get it." He said as turned from her, wanting to make his way to the desk to set down the lamp and heavy book.

"No, you don't, Cloud!" she yelled as she roughly turned him back around, making him face her. He gave her a looked that said, '_what the hell is wrong with you?!' _and replied, "Aright Tifa, what am I not getting?" He shifted the book and lamp more sturdily into his arms and awaited her reply.

She growled and grabbed for the two items in his arms and yelled, "Will you put that shit down already!" She roughly threw the lamp and book on top of his bed, both items ricocheting from her harshness and a few of the books pages tearing in the process. His hands went immediately for the objects, quickly saying, "What is wrong with you, Tifa. Be careful with those…!" But before he could check the damage, she swiftly grabbed at him; begging, "Cloud, please! Will you listen to me?" She grabbed at the front of his shirt positioning him before her. "What is it, Tifa?" Cloud asked through pursed lips, growing frustrated at her rough handling. Her hands slid up from the front of his shirt, to his neck, and settled on his cheeks, which she used a leverage; wanting to bring his face to hers. She felt him jerk back in surprise. When she had him where she wanted, she could clearly see his nervousness; his brow furrowed and his eyes shifted from left to right before allowing them to settle on her again. She brought him closer still, until they were eye to eye, nose to nose, lips to lips. His arms went out to the side of them, his hands ghosting over her hips, not wanting to touch her, but needing to keep his balance from the awkward, hunched position she had him in. She stared deeply into his eyes, "Cloud…?" she whispered against his lips:

"Cloud, I'm in love with you."

A/N: Again thanks for reading and please leave any comments you may have. When writing the story I wanted to delve deeper into their past, but alas, it's been a while since I've played FF Crisis Core, or watched the movie, even longer since I've played FFVII, so sorry for any inconsistencies. also, sorry for any grammar mistakes. the only spell check my chapters get are the Word Pro' and even then I can't catch them all.


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